Lemon, Fennel and Ginger Spiced Chutney

 Image from recipe at The Spruce Eats website

In that the question what to do with citrus skins and excess lemons from a local tree that cannot be eaten in season and to reduce food waste is answered with a tasty, spicy option that goes great with ham sandwiches, salads, crackers & hard cheese, on top of curries and in general other food.
 

Generally long term chutney preserves are fruit or veges, vinegar, and sugar cooked down to a chunky reduction. Chutney is a popular condiment and a great way to use up or preserve excess fruit and veges. The key elements in any chutney is the vinegar, sugar, primary fruit or veges and spices, while salt is key for other preserving operations. Earlier in India chutneys were instead short term relishes that had little to no preserving elements so they often needed to be prepared and eaten rather quickly and did not store well. But in many ways Indian chutneys have shifted to include more preserving elements to allow production at a larger scale, shop sales and home storage. Whereas a good restaurant or home cook may make theirs fresh and either eat it all quickly or toss and make more.

I had found a recipe that suited the more safe spiced flavours I was looking for.

From the Spruce Eats recipe for a Spicy Lemon Chutney

Ingredients:
    10 to 12 lemons (about 3 pounds or 1 1/3 kg), plus 2 or 3 more for juice (see below)
    2 Tablespoons salt (kosher)
    2 cups brown sugar
    6 garlic cloves (minced) <-- Note this is removed in mine due to allergy
    1/2 cup dried currants <--Removed due to digestive issues
    1/2 cup lemon juice
    1/2 cup cider vinegar
    1 to 2 Tablespoons fresh ginger (grated)  <--Note this & below is amended to safe personal spice mix
    1 teaspoon coriander seeds (crushed)
    1/2 teaspoon cayenne
    1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes
    4 half-pint (8-ounce) jars and lids

Collection of the spice mix at home pre ground cinnamon, nutmeg, clove, green and black cardamon, coriander, allspice, pepper and bay leaves however the ground versions are easier for my ability  

Although I use no garlic due to an allergy. Also to aid in decongestants I increased the ginger ratio so it was more a lemon, fennel and ginger chutney. I love ginger and my gut seems to agree which is good. My gut and ME had already taken garlic from me... I love garlic, but it no longer loves me. In addition I adjusted the spice ratio with my own: cloves, nutmeg, allspice, coriander powder instead of seeds so it is easier to eat, garam masala, chopped red chilli and of course the ginger. Garam masala is its own spice mix of peppercorns, cloves, cinnamon, mace or nutmeg, black and green cardamom pods, bay leaf, cumin, coriander but it is all pre ground which is good in case you were not planning or able to spice grind for a bit.

When ground the separate elements of garam masala can be indistinguishable so to better identify if there is a specific allergy or intolerance the unground ingredients can be tested in small amounts along with the ground product.

In case of unknown allergies or intolerances it is best to do an allergy skin test, then a reduced elimination type diet to test each of the spices in controlled forms to see if a reaction occurs or if your gut agrees with them (note: skin & allergy reactions are often fast while some dietary reactions can take a couple of days to develop). In many cases I was lucky compared to some with ME I just primarily lost alluims, (garlic, onions, leek, chives), gluten, a few other spices, some other vege & fruit types, (e.g. skin of fresh figs) and some types of legumes. I needed to avoid them due to IBS, new intolerances and new allergies.

There is always the chance I find more that I can no longer eat which is why hubby and I have tended to stick with what we know is safe, then safely look to try things that previously did not have an effect before ME but now need to be retested on an IBS, intolerant and allergy prone gut. Blergh that bit is annoying. Beforehand things were simpler and quicker. Not to mention I can no longer buy most prepared foods due to the gluten and alluim issues as onions or garlic are used in almost all sauces at restaurants or supermarket products and gluten is a significant core in many foods. Even gluten free crackers can have seasoning added as 'spices' and they become bullets to the gut, skin, and lungs. Hence we make our own chutneys and preserves, that way no hidden garlic or onion to surprise (because anaphylaxis is a dangerous but present risk).   

On the note of finding the ratio of key elements for the chutney:  
The Sugar and Vinegar Ratio to Lemons
The original recipe called for 2 cups sugar to 3 pounds lemons. At that point, already without a sweet tooth, I would be of the view 'Whoa, hold it there, are we making something closer to jam', However this would be a more spicy than sweet chutney and often any fruits have sugar as well. However since this is a chutney preserve for long term, not a puree, the sugar, salt and vinegar are critical. 

But with 250g lemons how much sugar was used and how does that compare to the recipe?

I will check with some really rough calculations via the phone sans the spices.

3pounds is roughly 1.36kg

A cup of sugar would be approximate to 200g. Hence 1 kg would contain 5 cups, 1.36 kg would contain 6.8 cups 

2 cups compared to 1.36kg is a ratio of 2:6.8cups, 0.294, or 22.7% of the total 1.76kg i.e. a little under a third of sugar compared to lemons, or about a fifth or forth of the total mixture.

I used 4 tablespoons of sugar, to accommodate any extra I would used 5 tablespoons in the calculation.

There are approximately 13g in my tablespoon so 5 of those would be 65g, compared to 250g of lemons that would be 65 : 250, 0.26, or 20.6% of the total. Which is at most still under the amount of the recipe. When I use closer to 4 tablespoons I would be especially under but if they were slightly heaped they would be closer to just under so a reasonable test with my low sugar tastes.

However in comparison Nigella's website lemon chutney recipe, had a higher sugar ratio with 3 1/4 cups sugar, 813mL or around 638g (using sugar ρ = 0.785) to 2 1/5 pounds lemons i.e. 1kg. Which equates to a ratio of 0.638 a little under two thirds sugar compared to the lemons, or around 39% of the total 1.64kg, around 2 fifths of the total mixture. Clearly I preferred the recipe with sugar on the low side, not needing the sweetness aspect, but for most British tastes there is a significant sweet tooth.

I did the same likewise comparing the ratios of vinegar to different recipes.

In many cases if the sugar was there only for tastes then the sweetness can be acquired through other means, e.g. the sugar in fruits (which can be extremely high in sugar content), sweetness in caramelised fried veges like onions, sweet substitutes like agave or stevia, other sugars like honey and maple syrup, etc. However when it comes to preserves elements like vinegar, sugar and salt are often core because of their chemical reactions including acting as preservatives & offering structural benefits, not their taste. Likewise salt is not used when curing meats and fish because people solely want to taste salt, (as the ratio of salt to meat is on the high side), it is done because it preserves the meat for longer (most the salt is brushed off anyway as it is there to draw out the moisture). But while some salt, sugar and vinegar is needed in long term preserves some with a sweet tooth can find themselves needing a tad more sugar or sweetness to make the recipe palatable. Thankfully I tend to just need a little to make the recipe a viable chutney preserve. Even for me getting to the same approximate amount of the recipe seems a bit sweet.    

Preparation:
The fennel was the easy bit, I took off a couple of layers and finely chopped them with a mandolin and then diced. Like an onion, fennel forms white layers around a central core and the top grows shoots of green fennel fronds.
I had been pre preserving, storing the lemons with some sea salt in a sealy bag so they were somewhat pre salted. I juiced and de-seeded them, taking care to keep the juice ready for later in a separate bowl. I took any excess pith off as best I could, (thankfully the lemons had very little pith). I also added a lime I was preserving with the lemons. Then the skins get finely chopped and diced. In a photo below I have shown another bag that has just been packaged to store. I then finely grate the ginger and put it aside to add later.

I fry the fennel in a pot so it slightly caramelises. Then I added the lemon & lime skin and ginger into the pot and fry a bit. Then add the vinegar, spices, lemon & lime juice, sugar etc and cook down until the wet mixture thickens and making sure all the sugar has dissolved.

Finished :)
Now at this point I know the chutney may sound unusual to those who prefer to buy their chutneys in squeezy bottle sauce form from supermarkets, and sour & spicy tastes are treated like the ugly duckling in their diet. But I then do something that even those familiar with the spiced lemon chutney recipes may find unusual. I added some chopped walnut pieces for added texture. I know it is an odd experiment. I once thoroughly enjoyed a fig and walnut chutney so much I found that the added walnut to this lemon one would be quite nice, to my tastes.

Finished and confirmed tasty ready to try with dinner with a couple of the ingredients and a kitty shown alongside.

Key phrase 'to my tastes' and I know they are weird after this much time working around odd diet restrictions and illness. I fully expect anyone else to make their food to something more to normal expectations, especially to serve to others. In this case I know the only ones to eat this latest experimentation to be myself and perhaps hubby. It takes any pressure to met others tastes away and also to accommodate the learning process where faults do not get tossed out unless they are completely inedible like pyrolyzed rubber. Perhaps I will hit a recipe variation that would be more welcome on a shared afternoon platter but at least for this one we have the tasty chutney all to ourselves.  

All Shagged Out While Feeding the Eels

Pied Shag with the NZ guide providing recording of male adults

Still wanting to be able to work up to a afternoon with the grandfolks I endeavoured to try more time out for a bit.  An opportunity presented itself when Mum dropped by some freshly caught snapper & kahawai, (from a celebratory work trip), two common NZ staple fish with strong distinct flavours.  Kahawai is more commonly smoked while snapper is used for the classic non battered fish & chips.  We were lucky with the portion of kahawai Mum shared with us already having been gutted & bled on the trip.  Which left the snapper to be gutted & filleted at home.

Tasty snapper, chilli lemon pesto and 'chips'

Hubby worked out a grand plan to crumb bite size pieces of kahawai with chana, (chickpea) flour, fresh sage and orange zest.  So post filleting he crumbed and fried the kahawai to eat that night, (as it normally does not keep well hence it is more often smoked).  While we could have some snapper in later days.  We kept the guts, skin etc to feed to the local longfin eels in the nearby creeks and ponds, (much like feeding the ducks except you are less likely to get bitten with eels).  Hubby prepared a lovely herb, lemon zest, ginger and chilli pesto to sit on top of the cooked snapper and we swapped chips for green long beans, (a cheaper & healthier option at the time).

View of one of the ponds, pink Chelsea factory, beach & sea from one of the estate's park areas

We waited for a good day to head out to some local ponds.  The ponds are right next to the coastline in the pink Chelsea sugar factory estate grounds.  Established in the 1880's with classic style houses (prior for some local workers but now rented privately), plenty of manicured garden & natural bush, walking tracks, beachfront and large ponds that are home to several wild species and some waterfowl & carp.  The grounds are open to the public but seeing more than 5 people in the area at a time is busy, (unless it is a shift start/end at the factory), and it is a lovely quiet park were locals can sneak off to eat lunch in peace away from crowds.  In the winding & wide estate there is always a quiet corner.  In this case there is a carpark right next to the pond so all I needed to do was stand and hold onto the car or sit on the hood, which I can maintain for a few minutes (with the trade off with energy later on).

NZ Freshwater Longfin Eel

We noticed the eel population had suffered recently from public interactions when we arrived.  I had heard people had illegally been killing them around the area, completely wiping some creeks out altogether (an action that carries a fine).  Where previously groups of large very curious eels, often decades old, (as some can live to over 100 years), would come up to greet newcomers to the ponds there were only a few small eels very scared and unsure of humans.  Probably a good attitude to have given the recent events.  We got the fish guts & tasty tibits out to feed the few there, hopefully they survive the other humans so they can get to the end of their lifetime to breed at least once before death.

We then got to feed some of the ducks including a very excitable muscovy duck which appeared to respond extremely well being called for oats.  Hubby would call to feed ducky some rye oats and when he ran out I would call to feed him some of mine.  This duck knew the deal and was attentive to our moves and which human had the food.  The other grey ducks hung back and waited for the muscovy to finish.  They probably had their fill from another earlier set of duck feeding public as we had come post the lunchtime, er rush.

See if you can spot all the visible shag nesting perches

I got to take photos of the local pied shag colony. In other countries other subspecies in the family are also known as cormorants.  The colony has around 30 pairs which gather & build a nesting colony in the trees on the other side of the pond to the factory.  They still get their sea views and often will fly out en masse, (even though in general the pied shag normally forages alone), before breaking off around the harbour to feed before coming back the the Chelsea estate to nest in the sheltered spot.  I remember it was so strange seeing them fly into the colony as a group, normally you might only see 1 or 2 out in the wharf & beaches by themselves.  They will be rather quiet compared to other birds but will often be sleeping, drying out after swimming & diving for fish and grooming.  However with a colony this large there is bound to be one or two birds calling, but less of a din than if the whole colony was battling to be heard.

They form monogamous breeding pairs and the colony will build up nests over time on the ground or in trees which they seem to share on a first come first nested basis.  I found a breeding pair which were grooming each other and sleeping together often on many days.  They stand out from the crowd a bit and you can see their back feathers are black their undersides are white, the skin in the front of the eye is yellow, the eye ring is blue and the base of the beak is a pink.  Whereas non breeding juveniles have lighter back feathers, more of a black brownish tone, they have some brown mottling on their undersides and there is more grey around their eyes than distinct colours.

Shags & cormorants have a more well known set of distinct postures.  Especially well known is the posture where shags are seen sitting on poles with their wings outspread to dry in the wind.  But there are also several distinct neck & body moves, (say pre-dive and pre-jump), and you can see the expansion of the head in one of the later photos.

All shagged out ourselves we headed back home to finish off the snapper for the night. Well worth the fishy treat. We were so lucky as it had been a couple years since we last had some at home. Hubby will remember the pesto & crumb recipe for later. Definitely a keeper.

I Like Birds - Eels

I can't look at the rocket launch

The trophy wives of the astronauts

And I won't listen to their words

'Cause I like

Birds

I don't care for walkin' downtown

Crazy auto-car gonna mow me down

Look at all the people like cows in a herd

Well, I like

Birds

If you're small and on a search

I've got a feeder for you to perch on

I can't stand in line at the store

The mean little people are such a bore

But it's alright if you act like a turd

'Cause I like

Birds

If you're small and on a search

I've got a feeder for you to perch on

If you're small and on a search

I've got a feeder for you to perch on

I've got a feeder for you to perch on

If you're small and on a search

I've got a feeder for you to perch on

I've got a feeder for you to perch on

Birthday Spiced Roast Duck, Food Art and the Mind

Past years cooking of the Christmas paella before adding the prawns and chorizo on top

At the moment the brain injury hubby is recovering from has sapped his energy and creative flair.  He loves the creative outlet of cooking and sharing food with loved ones, (his way of giving gifts and koha).  I enjoy helping and do not want to impose on & reduce his creative artistic food directions.  For him it is relaxing and fun to delve into and his past creations have been amazing.  We had a tradition of making a proper paella for Christmas.  In better times I brought hubby a sausage making machine & kitchen mixing machine, named Gerty, which he made amazing creations with.  We had homemade tapenades, chutneys, harrissas, curries, roasts, pate, breads, home made sausages (his first set was chicken, chilli & bacon, and a beef, rosemary & shitake).  Although at the moment there are not many energy points available to do it so even simple food can still be very difficult.  Now the prospect of cooking a meal is now a long process that needs to be broken down to short stages.

The brain injury happened from a set of incredibly bad falls, a massive knock with concrete and the mind changed as if a switch had been thrown.  Near the beginning he would not remember minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, things were blurred with mental, visual and auditory issues.  There was a lot of frustration.  Very slowly his memory has been getting better, his ability to read has come back, some tasks can be completed, the dyslexia dropping, but the fatigue, the complexity and memory of tasks has still been off kilter.  Almost as if you can remember now what you want to do, but forget how to do it or at what stage you are at.  Slowly building the mind back to previous levels has been a journey we are still travelling on.  After a year of recovery there has been significant changes.

We knew the symptoms of traumatic brain injury but the severity surprised us a bit.  He would often have several bad concussions a year but after a couple to a few days would be better.  But this one was bad, for many months I would be a backup memory and helped out a lot with the planning, bills, shopping, transport (as I am the only driver between us), even the cooking when it became too much for him.  I would not like to take away his chance to cook, take away his agency at a thing he feels relaxed at and enjoys, but often it would become mentality tiring & too complex even then.  We understand that having agency is important when you are disabled.  We often leap into what we can still do that much more and value it highly.

Image by Vetalitycorp

Some effects of brain injury we found strange.  He went from a night owl to a morning lark.  For a man of multiple languages with such detail & memory his gaining dyslexia & slurring speech was very frustrating for him.  I have dyslexia but living with it for most my life I have built up the ability to recognise some of mistakes and add in some self correction.  I can appreciate the confusion that comes with it.  After all in your mind you have said or done something, but out loud something else came out of your mouth or hands and you did not hear it being said or read it as it is written.  Likewise when cooking he would think he had done something but in the end would have forgotten and when asked could not remember either way.  Hence when preparing to cook with recipes, cooking times, multiple things to focus on and completing tasks it is still a challenge.  So we would break down to simple things, simple flavours at first.  Then later on move to just adding a couple of steps and tools on top after a couple of months.  It was beans for breakfast for many meals.

It was my Mums birthday recently, she knows how much hubby loves to cook & be creative with food experimentation so she brought a duck for us to roast for her.  He has been practising cooking a few times for dinners but we thought a roast lunch would suit both of our fatigue levels more.  Hubby broke the process down to 3 days of tasks we could both do.  I would be in charge of additional ingredient sourcing, purchasing, getting the veges ready.  We went with orange for the duck, NZ yams otherwise known as oca (on good discount $2 for 500g), earth gems (super small sort of potatoes called ulluco native to the Andes, South America), courgettes/zucchinis, mixed colour purple and white cauliflower for a puree (from a small fruit & vege market also extremely discounted), and thyme from the garden.  I have to admit it took me a couple of weeks to gather ingredients.

NZ Yams otherwise known as oca (not the sweet potatoes called yams in America)

Ulluco or in NZ branded Earth Gems. Photo by Catherine, An Angel in the Kitchen

We would go to Mum's kitchen to do the prep work and cooking, making it easier to pack down after each stage and so we could do the roast in an oven.  For hubby the first day is preparing the brine mix of orange rind and salt, while defrosting the duck.  The next day will be to put the duck in a watery brine mix in a sealy bag, then leave in the fridge overnight.  Afterwards he would prepare the spice rub mix with sumac, smoked paprika, nutmeg, clove, cinnamon, mace, salt and pepper, and a glaze of pomegranate molasses, orange juice, orange rind, brown sugar and a bit of the spice rub.  On the last day it was time to roast.  The yams and earth gems go in a roasting pan, hubby would put the duck on top.  A tricky bit was to lift the skin of the duck breast to rub the spice mix on the meat underneath then rub more spice mix around the outside.  Add a topping of sliced orange.  Into the oven it goes.

Then I would cook the cauliflower and strangely the mix of purple and white cauliflower would make a blueish puree with fresh thyme mixed in.  The courgettes would get fried with olive oil and balsamic vinegar.  Hubby would come back at regular intervals to check the duck, I would lift it out of the oven for him and he could pour the glaze over the duck.  Back into the oven it goes again.  We prepared some non alcoholic drinks like red bush ice tea, lime juice and soda, and mum brought some wine to share but which in the end she drank herself (we had to abstain and stick to mostly all the drinks we prepared due to the reactions from alcohol).  The plates were out, the table set, some rice crackers and condiments were shared and the roast duck was finally ready.

It was delicious, the orange and spiced flavour was amazing, along with the sweet roasties, sweet fried courgettes and a very nice umami cauliflower puree.  The duck was lovely and meaty.  It was amazing to have after not having meat for so long.  We saved all the bones and scraps for later days of cooking, (a duck bone stock perhaps and orange & spiced duck fat for later roast veges), and with what we roasted there were at least some roasties leftovers too.  It was nice sitting down to lunch with Mum.

 Seeing a friend's band play years ago

Mum wanted to know if I could go out to gigs still.  After dinner I was struggling to stand and holding onto the bench for help while taking the dishes across.  I wanted to objectively think about it.  I was not sure.  I would love to go out.  I would push myself through any pain and given any results just to spend time with family.  But I was struck with a pause that I should be honest with myself, had I really been able to make through an event in the past years?  Could I go to a gig again soon and not end up in pain and passing out from orthostatic issues after little more than an hour or more...  I cannot even make it through a movie at a cinema without fighting issues and lack of consciousness.

At a gig due to the environment personal safety is slightly more at risk and nights out are very expensive, (assaults can be common in certain crowds and there can be nowhere to sit, lie down or have a breathier, not to mention transport at night is an effort and super expensive when not driving).  To be positive I mentioned to mum I did not mind not going out much, even though I would love to go out with friends and family.  I did not mention that it can be isolating being both financially and physically separated away from the people you care about and unable to see them but desperately wanting to.  At this point in time hubbies energy gave out, and so it was time for him to relax his mind and body as part of his recovery.  It was a moment where we both were having difficulty standing.  I would get very faint, have difficulty breathing and my vision would go black, I would slump into a thankfully very solid object, and do breathing exercises resting a bit before continuing.  After cuddles we went back to our flat, and crashed hard.

Two planes flying in sync with each other in Wanaka (a holiday of past years)

It is funny how much ME is like a severe brain injury and for a long time I was hoping to mirror hubbies recovery.  But what is painfully clear is that now he is outstripping me in regaining his skills and the skills we shared.  I am still struggling to do even a simple meal & shopping trip once every fortnight.  Engineering work is an immense gulf away still in the labyrinth that is recovery.  Hubby needs me to drive multiple trips in a week and unfortunately my body is not playing ball.  I will push myself as much as I can, regardless of what may come after.  I try to build back up using similar practices that many with neurological issues face, (even ones hubby himself used for severe brain injury).  I still hope one day I can go back to where I was, to return.  But life is to always move forward and never be trapped in regret.

Yes I often lose ground and the sand castle I am working on will be taken back into the encroaching tide.  We want to have lots of meals with family and friends again.  Even if they are buying the meat.  So no matter if the waves wash away my sand castle I take it in my stride and build up a new one the next day (or a day when I can).  The waves and tide are very much like the issues you face with a chronic illness.  I have to let things go like sand being pulled back into the sea.  You cannot hold it, it is a temporary and changing environment you cannot fix in place.  Some sand castles are better and closer to being finished on certain days and others you may struggle to hold a clump of sand in hands too clumsy & painful to build while a storm whips around you.  While hubby is frustrated with his slow recovery I make sure to let him know that he is noticeably getting better and I am there to help & be with him along the way (even if he is angry due to frustration).  The brain injury was like a switch to night that has the sun coming back around and the dawn coming up.  It is something I cannot say for myself so I tend to over apologize when the storm is raging for things I should be able to do.

View of Mt Rangitoto in Auckland taken from beach

We are on the beach together waiting for the sun to break over the horizon.  It is close now I can see the glow and I hope I have finished a sandcastle too when it does.  

Simplify - Young the Giant

Everything I say only seems to complicate it

Every little fight is just another night wasted

Are we gonna lose? Is it gonna last?

Worry about the future, worry about the past

Think we're gonna break before I get a chance to say this

Don't wanna live without you

Staring in your eyes, everything simplifies

Leave it all behind, everything simplifies

All we need is nothing more when everything simplifies

You and I need nothing more, everything simplifies

Stressing over this, stressing over that, we're falling

Like the whole world is banging on the door I'm calling

Are we gonna lose? Is it gonna last?

Worry about the future, worry about the past

Filter out the noise, focus on my voice and fall in

Staring in your eyes, everything simplifies

Leave it all behind, everything simplifies

All we need is nothing more when everything simplifies

You and I need nothing more, everything simplifies

Why must we complicate

Every breath we take?

Why can't you see we'll be alright?

Nothing disappears

Even the pain we've been through

But all I need is here

Don't wanna live without you

All we need is nothing more when everything simplifies

You and I need nothing more, everything simplifies

The Art of Wombles, Thrift and Frugality: Food Focus

 Underground, Overground, Wombling Free, The Wombles of Wimbledon Common are we.
  Making good use of the things that we find, Things that the everyday folks leave behind.
Photo by Mags_cat

It has been a bad couple of weeks with trouble even preparing a meal a day.  I have more burns & cuts on my hands which are a bugger to keep clean and many dropped items have been lost.  But in comparison that is a small issue.  I would like to begin a part on how we manage through loss of income and financial budgeting, as even now we are still hoping to find a home that we can bring a wheelchair inside, and even has a bathroom that allows regular bathing.  Even a place that did not flood regularly, (sometimes with sewage), would be a plus.  So the essential part of managing a recent significant disability is juggling finances.  Key to that is unavoidable short, medium and long term planning.  Which in turn needs to be broken down to what you need to do to get by week on week.

I remember when I was around 10 in a childhood girl guide brownies night the leader wanted to demonstrate emergency evacuation, and refugee survival needs.  She asked the following of our group "If you could only take 5 things from your home with you when being evacuated what would they be?".  The leader expected most the kids to focus on their toys, clothes and items of materialism.  I was one of the very few more focused on survival.  First I made sure I would take with me my pet cats, companions who had been with me since I was born.  With baby photos cuddling them and living with them as deep friends; in no way would they ever be abandoned or considered less than members of the family.  Then I thought of what I would need to feed them and myself, the basics, large bottled water, pull tab canned fish, pellets.  As a kid I would not be as adverse to also eating the cat pellets in an emergency, although I would be able to fast and go without food just so cat food was more available for the kitties for as long into the future as possible.  Humans & adults can understand rationing far more than children & many animals.  I read Hatchet as a kid and also a lot about WWII so the concept was not alien.

However I was very naive and at that time did not consider other humans to be a danger needing protection from, something the leader left out completely in her story which is a large factor for anyone in that position.  For when resources are limited it is more likely to drive humans to steal and attack others, often those in the same or worse position to themselves.  Less able to fight back. In the second part of the exercise the leader singled me out.  Took my scraps of paper which I had written my 5 things and said they had all been lost and destroyed.  I was very uncaring about the food and water being lost, alternatives can be scrounged up somewhere but as a child could not bare losing my cat friends.  I tried bargaining and arguing but the leader would not let me have them back.

We may feel tied to material goods, needs, certain items for base survival, but the grief from the loss of friends and family has a significant emotional loss that can never be replaced.  If you were considering the base elements for survival, your family comes first and the necessities to keep the family alive and healthy.  Food, water and medication.  I do not handle grief well and as much as I like to think I can do without many material items, the cost of functional replacement can be significant. So the loss is annoying and replacement financially unachievable.  Being robbed multiple times is a hard set back to come back from.  Insurance, low debt, a good credit score for loans, secondhand and wombling inorganic items people throw away can be far more important once you lose everything a few times and need to build back up on just the functional level.  More personal items may be lost forever though; like the memory of a loved one, I lost the token of their memory and felt I had lost some part of them as well.  I wish I had those photos back or the items which would spark those memories I thought I had lost...

As with the above story I am going to start from the point of the necessities to live.  Being disabled you often have to make hard choices on even those.  Without enough money for food, water, electricity, a roof for over your head and a bathroom to use which of the above can you choose to ensure you survive to the next week?  Which can you reduce down to the bare minimum to be able to keep things ticking along?  Which do you have the most control and the most influence over?

As water and power may have a flat rate network charge in NZ you are limited on how much you can save without an increased outlay on materials for full service replacement (going off the grid and water capture with treatment & filtering).  Using power or water even once a month you will still have to pay line and network charges in NZ for the availability to be there.  Unfortunately public water fountains and night time heated public indoor spaces are unfashionable these days, far more investment goes into removing safe places and public services in favour of commercial budgets, so many have been ripped out or left unmaintained for decades.  Public wifi or phone booths are unheard of in most areas in NZ.  Even a physical bank branch may be going the way of the dodo due to expectations for everyone to have cellphones and large data plans.  In one of the coldest cities, Dunedin, (although thankfully warmer than many northern hemisphere countries still), there is a well known tradition of couch burning, aka burning old broken furniture to keep warm when the water pipes have frozen and there are icicles inside.  Often the burning will happen with a communal group party & bonfire so resources and warmth can be shared between households.  Preparing wood for the next winter months ahead is vital, even when there are no nearby forests, and the business of dry wood collection is popular.

QV's measure of average dwelling values. Chart by CoreLogic with labels by Lynn Grieveson.

Housing is and will often always be the largest financial outlay and often the one you may have the least control over.  The bare minimum might be a bus shelter but when you are disabled you often cannot access options like that (as standing from the ground or public seating usually requires nursing assistance & a hoist), even caravanning or tenting is out of reach without physical assistance & monetary outlay.  Garage and couch surfing are closer to accessible options.  In a booming real estate market where a state home built in the 50s for families to rent to own up to $5k, or one built and sold for $50k in the 80s now costs over 1 and a half million in mortgage debt, (an increase of over 30 times not mirrored in wage growth).  So garage and couch surfing are quite heavily booked out. At least work sites have a toilet, soap & kitchenette.  So let's begin with one option people generally have the most control over, need the most to survive and can more easily swing finances around.  Food and cooking.

So much food grown is thrown out before it even makes it to a plate.  Hundreds of millions of dollars of food a year in NZ alone.  Before it even gets to the store shelves it is critically compared against an artificial ideal of plant beauty and those that do not make the grade do not progress, (something humans even do to other humans with the ideals being more and more unachievable with genetic diversity).  At this point the ugly ones may make it to a secondary processor such as making stocks, or soups, made into animal feed or compost but often equally these batches will and can just end up in landfill.  For those with a passing grade they have a limited time on store shelves, as many stores do not wish to go beyond a fixed time on the shelf, or even a fixed discount to the price so the minimum margin is not lost.  Beyond this time and when faced needing to discount the stock further a store will often just throw out the batch into the trash.  Much of it is still edible, much of it has no quality issues.  But applying further discount to move the stock or storing it may cost more than they are willing to get back in the margin.  Cheaper to trash it then store.

This also occurs often even with the food that has been purchased and taken to people's homes.  That brocolli may have cost $4 but once it gets a couple of spots of discolouration many people will just toss it rather than cut around the spots or vary the meal preparation.  Once cooked even any excess often gets thrown out.  Some restaurants can even keep a separate trash for unused food but often it is still trashed.  Prepared, cooked and seasoned but if no one buys it at $30 a plate even staff may be unable to access it.  Unfortunately we could probably eliminate world hunger, or even just local starvation in our corner of the world if we had the logistics sorted.  But for many the ease of trashing food beats depositing it with food dispensaries.

Many a time starving mothers at a food bank wait with desperation, being unable to buy enough food for their families.  The food banks often cannot even get enough fresh fruit and vegetables to go around so those with nowhere else to turn to lose out.  Many resort to dumpster diving.  There is such a demand for this in a low wage economy where food has become unaffordable that many supermarkets around my area have put large locks & security on their rubbish bins so that the stock, (that still would be ok to sell, absolutely brilliant to donate), is kept out of reach of the poor.  They need to protect their margins.  Yet food banks would gladly accept even fruit, vegetables and bread too far gone to sell.  Many struggling families have learnt to make do with anything they can find.  Often this is also built into our cultural cuisines; the ability to use food and plants slightly past it to be made into something new and delicious.  Banana bread, stocks, preserves, pickles, jams and chutneys certainly don't taste rotten or unfit to eat but the original fruit and vege often would have been considered too far gone or ugly to allow any person to have without paying closer to full price.

A FODMAP & Gluten Free Diet is Popular for Those With IBS or IBD

Even bone broths & offal are now expensive.  The reject parts of meat that used to be more affordable are sold at rates too expensive to buy.  Having meat, fruit and vegetables itself may be a luxury and for someone anaemic with iron & vitamin deficiency forgoing these things can be severely medically detrimental.  In no way will soy, rice & wheat cover for the loss of necessary amino acids & minerals.  The first thing to address is the base level amounts of these items you need medically.  For that a dietitian can provide advice and for many with ME & auto immune issues there are recommended diets to help with IBS, food allergies, intolerances, medical imbalances and often also correct salt & iodine levels.  It is more than aiming for a normal BMI, it is ensuring the balance of minerals, vitamins, fats and proteins are consumed in nutritionally available forms.  You often cannot supplement your way out of not being able to afford food; supplements being even less affordable and often not absorbed in the same degree by the body.  

For hubby he has a low salt, (and low sugar) diet but for me I have been instructed by medical professionals to go wild with the salt intake.  My blood pressure prior was well below normal to the point many doctors would think there was a fault with the equipment then question if I was like this normally.  My diet is an amended celiac's paleo allergen restricted one (no gluten, no lactose, no processed food, several families of fruit and vegetables excluded due to allergies etc).  Eating out is incredibly difficult as most restaurants, cafes and stores have nothing I can eat, to the point I am even unable to eat the salads due to allergens contained in the core ingredients.  I also miss figs & garlic.  I really miss them, not the anaphylaxis I now get when I eat them but it is tough when the smell of toast, a good pasta, or grandma's apple & rubarb pie sends you into a land of sensory nostalgia that you cannot partake of.  You also cannot partake in shared meals, nights out or even pot lucks. BYO is not accepted in restaurants & cafes and everyone tends to expect you to eat the food they brought regardless of whether you can, (so they are put off when you don't).  More's the pity.  But once you get around the exclusionary bit of a fixed diet, then actually sticking to it is easier and finding the minimums you need medically is rather straightforward.  Cooking however being another skill that hubby is far better at though so I am sticking to the stew/soup curry type cuisine, a 'stoup' with enough decongestants, minerals, vegetables, protein and fibre.  Using an amended mirepoix & soffrito as a base for every meal, (unfortunately onions were also an allergen to avoid so they are replaced).

Given the largest costs may be the necessary base vegetables, proteins, fats & meats, work on how much you need for a week including if you can stretch out and save them.  Then look for extremely cheap and discounted sources for them.  Often gardening & home growing may be good for an occasional source but does not provide enough to live off long term and can be wiped out by bad weather.  A few bad storms killed an entire couple seasons worth of food this year so finding a exterior source not affected by poor weather, insects, was vital.  Even supermarket stocks were down & out.  For instance there was a lack of local potatoes, & lettuce to the point even burger joints put up notices apologising for the reduction & lack thereof.  It is not a good season when not just you lose all the stock you grow but when the professional large scale local growers cannot supply the supermarkets enough.  Then there are serious concerns for fruit and vegetable supplies long term, especially for a rapidly growing population & export market.  Luckily pickling, preserving and freezing is such a big part of our cultural cuisine.  A good season one year can be saved and held back for winter or even to the next few years.  Something that can be done so that not only does the diet vary in seasonal vegetables but the bad years are amortised by extra stock from the good ones.

Seconds and waste stock are normally good ways to get excess amount of perfectly edible fruit and vegetables that are much cheaper to source than otherwise.  With luck some stores may donate their seconds and waste stock to food dispensaries... but unfortunately that is not really commonly done as stores are far more likely to only slightly discount what they would more often throw out as waste.  It takes a lot of searching.  Some weeks we only had $5 for food a week, the equivalent to cover that small vegetable and maybe a loaf of bread for hubby so while it may take effort looking for food it is certainly worth the search and may be your only option to source it.  Canned beans, cheap canned fish, eggs, bones, offal (like hearts & livers), tahini, & nuts, may be the better & cheaper options for protein.

Mmm cooked livers & hearts make a good source of vitamins & minerals.

Having a freezer is great for mass meat storage where nightly portions can be separated from a discount bulk buy and then ready for the off months when cheap meat is not in season.  Bones can be saved up so a bone soup can be made later on.  Mince meat is an expensive luxury which we may be able to afford a night every couple months, (we buy a kg which can be split into 4-5 nights so it could last half a year to a year).  Likewise fresh fish which is even more expensive than mince meat can be separated into batches and then frozen.  Something you might not expect from an economically agricultural based island in the centre of a massive fishing area but most that is caught & produced goes to export with very little held back for the locals to eat.

Hence when you have a disability and your income is in question it is a real luxury to eat lean meat or fresh fish at all, and people often throw most of it away even when it is perfectly edible.  A literal crying shame and has many questioning the economic benefits of shipping most the stock away for export and the low wage staff not even being able to afford meat and vegetables at home.  Certainly a select few can afford the houses but it is not the predominant number of families in this country any more.  At best they may be able to afford some of the food they need but now most families need additional supplementary benefits to pay for the basics of food and rental housing.  It is tough times and the disabled & elderly with reduced job opportunities will be the most affected.

Hence it is good we enjoy cooking and reading classic recipes because just to survive we may be resorting to much of the cooking practices of medieval times with pottages & stews to get through much of the year.  Where nothing is too old or too far gone to be put into the week long cooking of stoup.  Sorry bit maudlin there, but as I said it was a bad year for the major growers with storms taking out much of the produce.  We can expect increased storms and with a disability little to no ability to maintain a home garden, (even an indoor garden or herb garden may be physically out of our reach).  Some companies use rosemary & parsley as hedging so when we go to those companies I make sure to help prune the overgrown edges off a wee bit for them so their gardener does not have to.  Sometimes you have to resort to dumpster diving, extensive food preparation months ahead, & wombling.